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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

National Geographic Boobies

My poor children - girls...I am sorry.  You won't know this for a while (please God, not for a L-O-N-G while) but you will have National Geographic boobies some day just like your mommy (National Geographic boobies are the boobies from pictures of women I remember seeing in the 1970-1980's National Geographic.  Normally The pictures were from Africa where the bra had apparently not been introduced or they have realized what we all know...bras are not comfortable, are designed by a man to make boobies do things they should not do, and should be burned when ever possible.).

How do I know the girls have no shot at small, pretty, perky boobies (unless they buy them)?  The power of observation is amazing.  I have big boobies, my mom is not small, Big Grasshopper's mom is on the larger size, and BG's sister also had big ones before she had them flopped, chopped and pulled up (I am so jealous by the way).

So there you have it.  They have NO chance EVER to know what it is like to have small, pretty, perky boobies.  One minute they will go from flat as a board to D size and not even hardly blink an eye.  There will be no Victoria Secret, no pretty colors, no pretty patterns for them unless they are just starting out (oh who's kidding...I am never buying my children Victoria Secret bra's or pretty bra's for that matter).  There will be plain white, nude, and black bra's in their futures.  So how do you tell a 9-10 year old girl that one day she will have National Geographic boobies and she can never shop at Victoria Secret?   That is one more question to add to my list of things to figure out before I have to explain puberty.  (please Dear God, let that be a L-O-N-G time from now as well!)

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