For My Mom

For the past several days I have been thankful for something different.  My family, the girl's teacher's and the simple things in life.  But today, today I am thankful for my mom.  My mother.  My mommy.  My mama. 

When I was 2 we were in a terrible car wreck.  I wasn't sitting my car seat that day (this fact actually saved my life).  Instead, my mom put me beside her on the big wide console of our 1970's car.  When my mom lost control of the car and we started flipping over and over (5 times in total), she wrapped her arms around me.  She protected me in spite of her own safety.  When the car came to a stop, the paramedics were called, and we were rescued my mom was found to have crushed both arms and broken ribs to save my life.  I broke my left arm and have scar on my face that is still my reminder of what my mom did for me.   While laying in the glass of that broken, flipped, mangled car, I would scream "mama, mama."  Every time I would yell for her she would become conscious enough to tell me she was there and it was OK.  Eventually it was really OK.

She has always told me that it is OK and if it isn't, she has always tried to make it OK.  We haven't always seen eye to eye.  My mom is a lady in every sense of the word.  She has manors.  She knows how to cross her legs.  She knows how to be quiet when she should be.  She knows how to walk in heals without looking like a fool.  At one time when she was in the business world, when she spoke, people listened.  When she walked, people watched who she was going to fire.  She was and still is commanding.  She also plays the piano and organ like nobodies business.  She is Mrs. Clean.  She is a Proverbs 31 woman.

She deserved a daughter who was much like her.  Gentil, manored, lady like.  She got me.  I say that to say I am sorry I am not more like her.  I wish I was quiet with less of an opinion.  I wish I knew how to always act correctly in all situations that I am thrown in to.  I wish I had the desire to sweep and mop on a daily basis.  I wish I were a little more like my mom....but I am not....I am me, and she has always been OK with that.  She hasn't always understood everything I have done or said.  She hasn't always been the proudest when I have stuck my foot, elbow, and half left arm in my mouth but she has always tried to be there no matter what.  She sometimes still frowns on some of my craziness but she loves me no matter what.  She always says I Am OK.  It is OK to be who I am. 

I am proud to be her daughter.  I may not be the daughter that she deserved, but I am proud that I am the daughter that she raised.  She raised me to be independent, self sufficient, strong willed, unwilling to settle, loud and proud of who I am.  There has never been a day that I haven't known she was proud of me.  There has never been a day that I haven't known how much she loves me. 

Thank you mommy for loving me.  Thank you mommy for always standing behind me and being proud of me for who I am.  I love you more than you know I am proud to be your daughter.  You may not have gotten the daughter that you deserved but I thank you for always loving me anyways.  You are the best mama I could ever ask for.  I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Home

I am Sooner born and Sooner bred.  A part of my heart will always belong to Oklahoma, but something is changing and has been stirring from within me for awhile now.  I am becoming an Arkansan.  I have been here over 10 years.  I moved to NW Arkansas on a hot August day in 2000.  I didn't ever think I would officially call NW Arkansas home.  I think I thought I would eventually return to Oklahoma (where the wind comes sweeping down the plain) fall in love with a Sooner man (a Cowboy would never do) and settle down on the plains.  What actually happened was I fell in love with a California nerdy computer guy who could really care less about football, and the rest as they say, is history.

So why do I think I am becoming a NW Arkansan?  Good question.  I love this little part of the world.  I love the trees.  I love the lake.  I love Walmart (even though I curse it daily).  I love the atmosphere.  I love the lifestyle of the area.  I love the people.  I even like the Hogs (gasp...I know)....

Also, when I am driving north on 540 from Fort Smith to Fayetteville I get goose bumps every time I come over the hill and see Fayetteville in the valley and the U of A on top of the hill.  It is beautiful!  It is amazing!  It is home!  

Now I know I don't live in Fayetteville (30 minutes away actually) but when I see the U of A on the hill I always know I am home.  NW Arkansas is my home.  NW Arkansas is home....and I couldn't be happier.

So, this Sooner Girl that was Sooner born and bred...is home...with her California boy....in NW Arkansas.