Buying A New Car

Seriously.  No Seriously.  I mean REALLY.  Does buying a car have to be SO hard? 

Over the last few weeks I have driven about every sedan in the under $30k range.  I can tell which seats are hard, which seats are nice, which interiors are European, which interiors look like a Ford, which cars are built in the same factory as another car, which salesmen are lying (most of them), which salesmen are nice, which places will want to deal, which ones won't, etc, etc, etc.  It is getting RIDICULOUS! 

I have finally made a decision.  I would post a picture but since I still need lessons on how to do that (please help me if you know how) I will just tell you it is the Hyundai Sonata.  I would prefer black, so I have to wash it every day, but will also settle for silver, dark grey, a Pacific blue, or white.  I can tell you we do NOT want a $2000 dollar navigation system since I only go to Walmart, Emma's school and church.  I also want leather seats, a sunroof, and would prefer if it drove itself....OK....well....maybe I am not serious about the last part....but wouldn't that be nice.

The problem now is finding said car.  Do you know, KNOW, how hard it is to find this picky American woman who has more wants than needs with this car?  Do you KNOW?  I would curse right now but my mom is watching.  Let's just say that if I have to deal with one more sales person I will die with the car I have right now.

So cheers car sales people......y'all are seriously about as bad as the plague.  We love to hate you and I guess for now I am hating you more than ever.  Raise your glasses and solute yourselves.  You deserve it!

Summer

Dear Summer,

Will you be my boyfriend faster than normal?  I know you are fast, furious and come on to me like a hot locomotive most of the time.  Please, please, PLEASE....BRING IT ON!  I am ready for you.  THE WORLD IS READY FOR YOU....BRING IT!

I am cold.  I am tired.  I am cold and tired.  I just broke up with my boyfriend winter a few days ago (even though the restraining order and stern letter didn't seem to get to him) and I am in need of some HOT lovin'. :)

Waiting for you....

Kristin

Breaking Up Is hard To Do

My open letter to Winter - my former boyfriend.

Dear Winter -

I love you.  I really do.  You come in with such gracefulness each year into my life that sometimes I don't even recognize your presence.  You bring Bald Eagles to look at, great sunsets to admire, and a time to remember that life is a cycle.  As much as I do love you and appreciate your snowy days to build snowmen with my girls, the cold nights to snuggle with Big Grasshopper, and time to reflect and renew my life, I am breaking up with you. 

I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU!

Did you hear me?

WE ARE THROUGH.

As much as I appreciate all you have done for me this year, I am over you.  Tired.  Cold.  Done.  I mean DONE.  Did you hear me?  DONE.

Thank you so much for loving me with your blustery cold winds whipping around me like a snuggly hug.  Thank you for pelting my face with snow like a sloppy wet kiss.  Thank you so much for bringing me all the blessings that you know how to bring, but we are done.  Please stay at least 1056000 feet away from my house.  This will help both of us.  Please know that I like to dance in the nude under the light of the moon and stars to the weather goddess (more to drive my neighbors and parents/in-laws crazy) but that does not mean that I need you to return even if the weather goddess thinks you need to.

Thank you so much for your time.  I am sorry I have to break up with you this way but there doesn't seem to be a better way seeing how you turned off your iPhone or changed your number or something.  I hope you understand I love you, we just can't be together any more.

Love always.... now just go away....

Kristin

Snow Day

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!....but please hurry up and plow it up so we can get back to the grind that is/was/and always will be.  This should be how the song really goes. 

I am not saying I am not enjoying having the girls PP and PP around 24/7 fighting, laughing, fighting, crying, hitting, pushing, laughing, crying, laughing, and generally just being themselves.  I am not saying that I have not enjoyed listening to the girls fight about who is going to be Mrs. W and who is going to be Mrs. G (Peppermint's teacher and the intern in her class right now) as they play school.  I am not going to say that I am not enjoying watching hours and hours and HOURS of Dora, Olivia, Dino Dan, Sesame, and any other show that comes on PBS or Nick Jr.  I am not saying I am not enjoying ALL time it takes to get the girls dressed and undressed just so they can spend 5-10 minutes outside before wanting to come in because it is bitterly cold.  I am not saying I am not enjoying Facebooking endless times during the day.  I am not saying I am not enjoying hanging out, slacking off, and doing whatever I want.  I am not saying I am not enjoying not having to drive PP and PP to and from school and whatever activity that is going on during the day.  I am not saying I am not enjoying the snow.....but I am over it.  OVER IT.  OVER IT!

At this point school will be in session until the second week in June.  At this point we are eating into lake/raft/camping time and everyone knows how much I LOVE lake/raft/camping time.  At this point we are eating into SUMMER.  SUMMER....so as much as I love the to sing "let it snow, let it snow, let it snow," I am OVER IT....and THAT IS what I am saying....

The Weather

"If you can't change it, go with it."  - Kristin

This is my weather motto.  I know my parents (Gigi and Popi) and Big Grasshopper's parents (Nana and Papa) think I have something to do with the weather and what falls from the sky....I will say that just because I dance outside naked at night to The Weather Goddess from the North Pole under the moon and stars, this does not mean I have anything to do with what falls outside.  I just like to dance naked outside at night under the moon and stars and I think that should be fine.  (TMI I know....sorry....and if you believe any of the above, please let me sell you some ocean front property right on Beaver Lake.)  Anyways....

My real weather philosophy is very simple.  "If you can't change it, go with it."  We can't change it.  If I were in charge it would be 90-100 most days and all of us could live on a body of water and hang out all day fishing, swimming, and floating in our rafts as the drink man brings us cold drinks when needed.  We would also have private chef's that make us breakfast, lunch, and dinner and we would never have to lift a finger.  But, because I seem NOT to be in charge, please note that their is an EPICALLY HISTORIC snow storm coming and you better get ready....or go out and do a little naked dancing of your own to your own weather god/goddess under the light of the moon and stars....but you better hurry....because snow is coming!

Happy Dancing!!

The Birds And The Bees

As I was changing last night Peppermint Patty came in.  I am pretty open and find nudity really not that big of a deal (and I can tell you after pushing out two babies, babies don't find nudity that big of a deal either).  I do try to be discreet with some things but if I am changing my clothes and putting on my PJ's and one of the girls comes in I don't really think it is that big of a deal.  Anyways,  PP comes in and the following conversation takes place.

Peppermint:  Mom.  (looking at me in a weird wondering way)  Where do babies come from?

Me:  (thinking I can go one of two ways, I simply ask) Where do you think babies come from?

Peppermint:  Your poo poo part?

Me:  Close, your pee pee parts.

Peppermint:  Ouch!  That would hurt.  How big are babies?  (using her hands to figure out how big a baby comes out of a pee pee part....me trying to show her)  Ouch!  I don't think I want to have babies.  I think that would really hurt!

Me:  Good.  I am glad you don't want to have babies.  (me thinking - YES!  because for the past 6 or 8 months PP has been talking about nothing but having babies and becoming a mom...immediately....which I know isn't possible but I would like to hold it off for as long as possible...)

PP:  OK Mom....(goes away happy I answered her question and no other concern has she.)

I bring this up to bring up a story.  The other day a situation came up with someone else with a student talking about where babies come from and we started talking about if we could or could not give "the talk."

I personally don't think "the talk" really needs to be "a big talk" at all if you are open and honest from the beginning.  I think if you always answer the questions that are asked as honest, open, and on a level a child can handle, a long surprising talk never needs to take place.  I also think most parents need to be talking to their kids way before they do.  I am not saying PP needs to know about periods and all the mechanics of sex right at this moment, but if something comes up, I am very open to answering her questions in a way that will be on her level that will make sense to her.  I also personally believe (because I matured physically very early and had no clue what was going on) that kids have the right to know what is happening to their bodies and that if honesty and openness don't happen they will go somewhere else to find the information...and in this day and age I really don't want my girls, PP and PP, to go to the internet or somewhere else to figure things out.  (Remember the talks with other girls on the playground about what was happening with your body?  If you didn't have THOSE playground talks, find yourself blessed.)   I also have this theory that if you have a period, vagina, penis, and sex you can talk about it with your kids.

So....we have started "the talk" that I hope will not be a talk at all but a very long discussion about life as it comes....sorry if this offends or if your kid learns something from my kids before you think they are ready....but maybe they are more ready than we all give them credit.

Not Your Mama's Kindergarten

After a semester of Peppermint Patty being in kindergarten I can tell you a lot has changed since you and I (supposing you were born before 1990ish) went to school.  First, I went to half day kindergarten.  I arrived, put up my stuff (I think I had stuff but don't really remember), got my crayon box, and tried to sit at the girls table.  I am sure Mrs. Bell did interactive things, we sat on carpet squares, and were interactive but I really have no clue because I honestly can't remember.  I think my biggest achievement was writing my name, saying my ABC's, and tying my shoes.  We had recess, PE, music, art, library, and probably something else.  Before lunch I was picked up by La Petite, went and ate lunch, and then took a 2 hour nap.  I am not sure we actually "learned" something but then again, I have already said I can't really remember.  It was a LONG time ago.

Today PP is at kindergarten all day.  She is learning way more than tying her shoes, skipping, and just saying her ABC's.  This week they are learning punctuation.  Really?  My child, who can't write a sentence without a tremendous amount of help, is learning about punctuation.  By the end of the year I have been told they will be reading basic sentences, know how to read simple sight words, and be able to write a paragraph.  Really?  A paragraph?  WOW!  I don't think I wrote a paragraph until at least 2nd grade and I probably remember that because it was with Mrs. Branson, second semester, about President Lincoln or Washington (not sure why I remember that...but whatever).

In some ways I am happy they are doing more than tying your shoe, skipping, having 3 recesses, taking naps, and coloring a few pages.  I am glad they are pushing PP to learn more than I did in kindergarten, first, and probably some second grade combined.  But really?  Really?

I guess she is ready.....but don't know if I am.  Going to go tie my shoes and skip now.....and maybe later I will call Mrs. Ball (the best HS English teacher I know) and see if she can teach me how to write a paragraph correctly.