There are unwritten and unspoken things about having children. Things that if a people who do not have children learned before having kids themselves would maybe make them rethink having the beauties in the first place. Why are these things unspoken? 1. We who have children want others to be in misery with us so we don't tell them the REAL horrors. 2. You sign a waiver (in the hospital while drugged up) saying you will never, ever, under any real circumstance tell any childless couple what life is really like after you take home that precious little bundle of joy. OK...well maybe you don't sign a waiver but I do think there is an unwritten code that some things just aren't talked about. 3. We who have children want to laugh at people who don't have children when they actually do. Most people who don't have children have a preconceived notion that they can parent better than we can or that they would do things different. What normally happens is they turn out to be average parents just like us and do crazy things just like us and so then we get to laugh at all their "if I was a parent" theories. So what are the the things unspoken or things you have to sign a waiver to never ever tell a childless parent?
1. You will NEVER, EVER, EVER sleep a whole night the same way you did before you had your bundle of joy. The first 6-12 weeks are the most sleep deprived time but even after you think you should go back to peacefully sleeping through the night you don't. You get up to see if they are breathing. You hear every cough. You hear if they roll over. You hear if they go to the bathroom. You hear EVERYTHING. You also STILL have to get up. They get sick. They throw up. They have to go to the bathroom. They want to play with their dolls or cars at 3 in the morning. Sleeping is NEVER the same.....EVER....
2. The amount of poop one child can have on any given day is so massively unproportional to how big they actually are. It is ridiculous! You think they should have tiny little poops and that it should only happen 1-2 times a day. Nope. Some days I have wondered how on earth that much poop can come from such a small child. When the girls were babies they seemed to be poop factories....OK...and so they were poop factories....but I would absolutely be amazed at how much poop would come out of them at any given time...and just when I thought they were done....oh no...they would poop...AGAIN!!!
3. Throwing up. Not spit up...Throw up....on you, around you, in your mouth, in your hair, on your clothes, on your new leather sofa, on the carpet, in the bed, anywhere but in the toilet. It happens. It still happens and Big Girl and Little Lady are 5 and 3. Neither of them can seem to find a toilet when it needs to be done and the mom instinct is just to let them to puke on you. Yup.....pleasant....I know.
4. Vacations are for.......SLEEPING!!! Yes...you will just want to sleep! I know...you think you are going to want to do all the usual things when you go on vacation without the little beauties for the first time like drinking, having sex, partying it up, etc. Nope...After Big Girl was born we had our 4th anniversary. We decided to go up to Branson for one night. We dropped her off with Nana and away we went. I thought we would have a great time. We would eat out, get some rest, have sex which we haven't had since she was born because we were so tired (see #1 if you don't remember the lack of sleep part) and just really do some fun things. We got to Branson, checked in to the hotel and decided to nap....for 4, FOUR, 4 hours! We got up go eat, see the show we had bought tickets for, and then went to the hotel back and fell promptly to sleep....AGAIN! The next morning at 9:30 we wake up to remember that check out at this hotel is at 11. Oh yes we did have some fun in between the sleeping...but there was JUST SLEEPING happening.
5. Most parents will tell you that sex will become way over rated...because it NEVER happens. Being sleep deprived and smelling like poop or throw up or both at the same time is not the picture of attractive. If it does happen it is short, sweat, and hurried. Long gone will be the days of pretty night gowns and candles. Long gone are the days that the acts of lust could take forever and no one would care. In are the days of someone screaming at the door that some cartoon is over, their sister won't share, or that they need milk. In are also the days were you say "hurry...you have 5 minutes make them count....do you really think they are asleep?....etc." Yup...romantic don't you think?
6. Children are dirty and gross little creatures. They are always getting into things. They are always putting things in their little mouths that they shouldn't...like dog poop, rocks, coins, crayons, play do, etc. I don't think I have gone a day in over 5 years where I haven't been utterly disgusted by something one of my children has done. They are always showing me things I would rather not see, doing things I wish they wouldn't do, and putting things in places...well...we won't go there.
These are 6 of the more obvious things to list. I could write 94 more to round out to an even hundred but I can't. Remember...I signed an oath. But I will tell you this if you are still reading. I wouldn't change a thing. For all the sleep I have lost and for everything else that has happened, I wouldn't change a thing. I would actually go back if I could and do it all again. I long for the nights were I had 3 am feedings so I can hold Big Girl again and have her stare up at me with her big brown eyes or for mornings where I could escape for a few moments to have some quiet nursing time with Little Lady. They grow up so fast and as I look back over the last 5 years I laugh and cry. There really are crazy things that happen that no one tells you about....but I wouldn't change a thing.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Adventure Point Camp 2010 - Grace Point Church
As a PK I have been to my fair share of church camps and vacation Bible schools. Never have I had this much fun or been so warn out. It is a true pleasure to be a small part of a big church doing huge things for NWA and the world!!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Brett Michaels Oh How I love you...But in My Dreams?
I often have strange dreams. I swim, fall, fly, yell, and talk. Most of the time it is with blobs of people around and not people that are non-distinguishable. Last night...oh man....last night was different. Brett Michaels of Poison popped up. Apparently I was in love with him and him with me.
Brett: Kristin, Oh how sexy and hot I think you are. Kiss me!
Kristin: You are so hot!...and what is up with your hair? Wait....what are these other women doing here?
Brett: You know....We are on my show...Rock of love 100. :)
Yup....I love Brett Michaels...but I think we just need to keep that love from afar.
Dreams...
Brett: Kristin, Oh how sexy and hot I think you are. Kiss me!
Kristin: You are so hot!...and what is up with your hair? Wait....what are these other women doing here?
Brett: You know....We are on my show...Rock of love 100. :)
Yup....I love Brett Michaels...but I think we just need to keep that love from afar.
Dreams...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Commencement 2010
This time of year brings up so many fond memories. It was a short 14 years ago (well...maybe that is a long time) that I walked across the stage of Yukon High School to graduate. I did not get to speak to the masses that day and more than likely I will not be called to speak to the masses any time soon. But, if I was, this is I would say.
Graduates, Parents, Fellow Teachers, Administrators, Families, and Friends,
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Remember from this day on, the path you choose is yours. Your parents, family, and teachers have gotten you this far and now it is your turn. Choose wisely and I hope you have the time of your life. Congratulations and good night!!
Graduates, Parents, Fellow Teachers, Administrators, Families, and Friends,
Today is a special day. For the last 18 years graduates, your parents, family, and teachers have nurtured, cared for, watched with much anticipation, and pushed to get you to this point. You have not gotten to this day alone. It really does take a village to raise a child and so this day not only belongs to you the graduates, it also belongs to all of those that have helped get you to this point.
The times have changed since I graduated just a short 14 years ago. If I needed to call home I found a pay phone that took quarters, the internet was just a figment of everyone's imagination, gas cost $.69 cents a gallon, we only had 100 channels on cable and I still had to get up to change the channel, and we could eat at Taco Bell for under $3.00 for lunch...OK...so the Taco Bell part is still the same. Now everyone has cell phones, the internet is the place to be, connect, and go to for just about everything, gas is on the rise daily, and now cable has hundreds of channels and I don't have to get up to change the channel and can "tape" any show I want simply by pressing a button.
However, for as much has changed socially, much has remained the same when it comes to the lives of graduates. Every graduate that walks across the high school stage to receive a diploma in the next few weeks all have their lives ahead of them. All of you have basically the same goals, same dreams, same aspirations. Most of you have really no clue how you are going to achieve all that lies ahead of you and more than not, most of you have no clue what life is really like...and that is OK!
I thought of a song that I think is poignant for graduations. I Hope You have the Time of Your Life by Green Day.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
If we break down these lyrics into a few short segments you will see that this truly is the perfect graduation song. Today is graduation day....a fork stuck in the road. You must make a choice. You alone must choose what path your life is going to take. Oh sure your parents, family, and friends will have some influence on you for a while, but the choices are truly yours from this moment on. If you succeed in college it will be because you got up, went to class, and did well. If you flunk out, it will be your failure alone that got you to that outcome. If you decide after high school that college isn't for you and you are going straight to work, know that the choices you make are also your own. You must get up, get to work on time, do what is asked of you, and at the end of the day choose if you will be successful. Everyone on a daily basis makes choices and you as well will be making them. Choose wisely.
The fork stuck in the road is also here today because starting today you will be having to choose a new path. Most of you will have to decide what seems right now to be a dark and unlit path. The path of the unknown. Life from this point is unknown and it is what you make it. It is what you decide. It is up to you to be successful, it is up to you to be who you think you should be. No longer will the path be lit for you by parents, family, teachers, or the state of Arkansas. No longer will there be people along the way to light your path. You will have to do that yourself. Choose wisely which path you will take and how and who you will light your path with.
Also know you will have other forks in the road. Leaving high school is a very small fork compared to some that will come at you. Life is a journey, a process, and there will definitely be other forks. Be prepared for those forks. Sometimes they will come gradually and you will see them long before you get there. Other times, the tree in the middle of the road will hit you right in the middle of the forehead and you will wonder how and why did that happen. If you know and understand that life will have other forks, you will more than likely be prepared to handle what is ahead.
Take photographs and still frames in your mind. Life goes by so quickly. It doesn't seem like 14 years ago I walked across the stage to receive my diploma...sometimes it seems like just yesterday that happened. Life flies at you and by you faster than a speeding bullet, slow it down by cherishing memories and mile markers on your path. Leave little lanterns on your path with those photographs and still frames so when you get lost (and you will get lost), you can come back to those moments.
Cherish where you are on your path at that moment. For most of your life you have always wanted to get to the next mile stone or the next mile marker and your parents probably couldn't wait for you to get there as well. Sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking, talking, going to kindergarten, going to high school....all of those things most of you couldn't wait to do and your parents pushed you to do. Life is truly over in the blink of an eye so slow down along the way and take those photographs and still frames. Cherish where you are in that moment and be happy that you have that moment because it will never be there again.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
However, for as much has changed socially, much has remained the same when it comes to the lives of graduates. Every graduate that walks across the high school stage to receive a diploma in the next few weeks all have their lives ahead of them. All of you have basically the same goals, same dreams, same aspirations. Most of you have really no clue how you are going to achieve all that lies ahead of you and more than not, most of you have no clue what life is really like...and that is OK!
I thought of a song that I think is poignant for graduations. I Hope You have the Time of Your Life by Green Day.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
If we break down these lyrics into a few short segments you will see that this truly is the perfect graduation song. Today is graduation day....a fork stuck in the road. You must make a choice. You alone must choose what path your life is going to take. Oh sure your parents, family, and friends will have some influence on you for a while, but the choices are truly yours from this moment on. If you succeed in college it will be because you got up, went to class, and did well. If you flunk out, it will be your failure alone that got you to that outcome. If you decide after high school that college isn't for you and you are going straight to work, know that the choices you make are also your own. You must get up, get to work on time, do what is asked of you, and at the end of the day choose if you will be successful. Everyone on a daily basis makes choices and you as well will be making them. Choose wisely.
The fork stuck in the road is also here today because starting today you will be having to choose a new path. Most of you will have to decide what seems right now to be a dark and unlit path. The path of the unknown. Life from this point is unknown and it is what you make it. It is what you decide. It is up to you to be successful, it is up to you to be who you think you should be. No longer will the path be lit for you by parents, family, teachers, or the state of Arkansas. No longer will there be people along the way to light your path. You will have to do that yourself. Choose wisely which path you will take and how and who you will light your path with.
Also know you will have other forks in the road. Leaving high school is a very small fork compared to some that will come at you. Life is a journey, a process, and there will definitely be other forks. Be prepared for those forks. Sometimes they will come gradually and you will see them long before you get there. Other times, the tree in the middle of the road will hit you right in the middle of the forehead and you will wonder how and why did that happen. If you know and understand that life will have other forks, you will more than likely be prepared to handle what is ahead.
Take photographs and still frames in your mind. Life goes by so quickly. It doesn't seem like 14 years ago I walked across the stage to receive my diploma...sometimes it seems like just yesterday that happened. Life flies at you and by you faster than a speeding bullet, slow it down by cherishing memories and mile markers on your path. Leave little lanterns on your path with those photographs and still frames so when you get lost (and you will get lost), you can come back to those moments.
Cherish where you are on your path at that moment. For most of your life you have always wanted to get to the next mile stone or the next mile marker and your parents probably couldn't wait for you to get there as well. Sitting up, rolling over, crawling, walking, talking, going to kindergarten, going to high school....all of those things most of you couldn't wait to do and your parents pushed you to do. Life is truly over in the blink of an eye so slow down along the way and take those photographs and still frames. Cherish where you are in that moment and be happy that you have that moment because it will never be there again.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Life is unpredictable, crazy, insane, and at times really scary. Whatever your life will become, know that it is the right path for you and I truly hope you have a great time. I hope you had a great time in high school. I hope you will look back with fond memories and great times. I hope you ceased the day. I hope you got everything out of high school that you wanted and deserved. I truly hope that you had the time of your life. If not, know that you can't change those moments or go back in time, but you can change the rest of your path and where life will take you.
When you look back some day in 10, 14, 20, 30, 45, 60 years on where your life has taken you, all the forks in the road, all the photographs, and all the twists and turns that you didn't even know would be there, I hope you look back without regret. Take chances, do things that aren't conventional, take that path that is less followed. I hope you truly have the time of your life.
I would like to leave you with a poem by Robert Frost. Most of you have read it or heard it at least onc, if not a few times in your life, The Road Less Traveled. Sometimes forks in the road will be there and there will really be only one way to go, but on a few occasions there will be two forks. When there are, go with the fork that doesn't seem to be the most withered, the most walked. Know that that path has been walked before by others but it has been awhile. Know that in the darkness you will find your way. Know that the road less traveled is often times the best path that you truly can choose.
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Remember from this day on, the path you choose is yours. Your parents, family, and teachers have gotten you this far and now it is your turn. Choose wisely and I hope you have the time of your life. Congratulations and good night!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Easter Bunny?
Yesterday was Easter and our first really hard questions about how "things" get in the house arose. Here is the conversation.
BigG (Big Girl): When is the Easter Bunny going to come?
BG (Big Grasshopper): He has already come...you got baskets?
BigG: Yes...but then how did he get in our house?
BG: Magic!
BigG: Magic? What kind of Magic?
BG: It is just magic.
BigG: Like Santa?
BG: Kinda...
BG looking at me, "You know this "magic" thing would be easier if there weren't Walmart tags on everything."
Me: "Yup....Walmart magic."
BigG (Big Girl): When is the Easter Bunny going to come?
BG (Big Grasshopper): He has already come...you got baskets?
BigG: Yes...but then how did he get in our house?
BG: Magic!
BigG: Magic? What kind of Magic?
BG: It is just magic.
BigG: Like Santa?
BG: Kinda...
BG looking at me, "You know this "magic" thing would be easier if there weren't Walmart tags on everything."
Me: "Yup....Walmart magic."
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Recycling
OK....So I do it...but I don't have to like it. I think recycling is ridiculous. Sorry to all my tree hugging friends but I really, really do. It is stupid that I stand at the sink rinsing out containers of syrup, peas, milk, etc. so that it can go in the trash? HUH? I mean...IT IS TRASH! I get it...I get that this trash that can be taken and turned back into whatever it was or done something else with, but why do I have to wash trash? I mean really....do you think it really matters if there is a pea stuck to the bottom of the pea can that is going to be sent to be melted down to make another pea can? Does it matter if my milk container has 1 drop of milk left? Really?
We live in a town that has one bin for recycling everything. They have some rules about what they will and won't recycle but that is complicated and time consuming so if it has a recycling logo on it I throw it in the bin and let someone else worry if it is a #2,4, 5 or something else. The only thing we don't put in there is glass and this is the one thing I wish they would recycle because it is the easiest (or so I have heard).
So why recycle? Does it even go to where they say it is going or do they just take it to the landfill and it is just supposed to make me feel better because I am "saving mother earth"? I don't really know....but I sure would like to find out.
Now until then.....excuse me...I have some peas to scrub out of my cans.
We live in a town that has one bin for recycling everything. They have some rules about what they will and won't recycle but that is complicated and time consuming so if it has a recycling logo on it I throw it in the bin and let someone else worry if it is a #2,4, 5 or something else. The only thing we don't put in there is glass and this is the one thing I wish they would recycle because it is the easiest (or so I have heard).
So why recycle? Does it even go to where they say it is going or do they just take it to the landfill and it is just supposed to make me feel better because I am "saving mother earth"? I don't really know....but I sure would like to find out.
Now until then.....excuse me...I have some peas to scrub out of my cans.
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